Anti-Violence Against Women Walk

We participated in a walk against violence against women this last weekend. It was Hester's second. I was struck that the speeches were mostly about how women needed to get services, participate in witness advocacy programs, and get involved. There was very little said about the role of men in committing violence, complacency when other commit violent acts, complacency in a sexist culture that allows predators to prey upon children and women. There was nothing said about changing laws to keep repeat offenders in prison or toughing sentencing of sex offenders and those who commit domestic violence. It was all about what women need to do.



They also had a initiative to get 100 men to commit to anti-violence stuff and to raise money for the organizations that put together the walk. They were unable to find 100 men to commit. And I am sure it is not from lack of trying. It is a travesty that DV and sexual assault are still seen as women's issues, that child abuse is still a women's issue. Women and children are most of the victims but 95% of perpetrators of these crimes are men. It is a men's issue too. But where the hell are they? If men took an active part, even half of the work on this issue, in prevention and changing sentencing laws, things would change. So what are you waiting for, men?



Yoo hoo, men?



Oh wait, you probably do not read a knitting, lesbian, parenting, therapist's blog.

Hats

I am juggling three hats these next few days. I am not sure how it will turn out. I hope I can just keep everything in the air and if I must, shed tears alone or with Clementine.

The first hat is that of motherhood. I have not blogged much in the past few weeks because 1) I am busy caring for Hester, and 2) I am awash with a multitude of feelings. I feel joy to be witnessing this little life. I feel lost as I struggle to find out who I am as a mother. I feel fear that I will resort to my parents' style of parenting. I feel happiness when I hug her. I feel panic when she screams in her colicky time. I feel tired from disturbed sleep. I cannot wait to hold her again. I miss my old life. I marvel at how Clementine and I work together nearly seamlessly to accomplish all that needs to be done. I love Clementine and Hester more and more each day. I want to go back to work. I never want to go back to work. I think I am doing pretty good being a mother.

The next hat is that of music therapist. Even on my maternity leave, that life creeps in. I had go to a meeting with my intern and her professor. I had to interview a prospective intern for next year. I worked on documents for work. I proofed a manuscript for publication. I discussed and worked on a submission for presenting at the next national conference. I am bummed that I did so much on this time off but then I love my profession and my work so much. I have to go to a music therapy conference tomorrow for three and a half days. Hester may come down to join me on Thursday evening. If not, she and Clementine will join me Friday. I feel horrible leaving them for this conference. I don't really want to go but must take a course and I am on the regional executive board so I guess I have to go. But Hester has only been home for three weeks. But I miss my work life. It has been my passion for so long. How do I balance these two hats?

I have a third hat that I cannot speak much about. There was a civil rights violation and I am doing something about it. Tomorrow, I have a big, important meeting about this. I am nervous. I have never done such a thing before. But my lawyer told me to walk proudly and be strong for I am "wearing the hat of justice." My lawyer rocks! But this hat of justice is heavy and I have carried it for years and will continue to carry it for an unknown amount of time. But it is far lighter than carrying the weight of second class citizenship.

Next week, I start up with work again. I am tremendously sad this time is coming to an end. That is when the juggling act will begin in earnest.