Oh Brother

My brother, Snapdragon, has always had my back. He has been unceasingly my greatest ally in my family since I came out as a lesbian and as a survivor. As children, we were inseparable. People thought we were twins all the time. I secretly wished we were twins. He had so many traits I valued like his strength to withstand anything, his compassion, and his desire to learn more. Our close relationship has continued into our adulthood He means so much to me.

As Hester’s birth came closer, Snapdragon spoke of coming up to visit when she comes home to help us out around the house and to meet his niece. I was so touched that he wanted to come and be with us and share in our new family. But as the events of her birth and long hospitalization unfolded, his trip was postponed for the spring. I was cool with that.

However, those plans changed. Snapdragon called me and told me it would be in the summer. They have a friend in Mexico who had a child a year ago with whom they want to visit. Their reason for changing things up was that part of Mexico is very hot in the summer, hence going in the spring. They were going to come out when both he and his wife were on summer break.

The next time we discussed his trip to meet Hester; the date was changed to September. He and his wife had made plans to go to France to visit our sister. This is my sister who has been quite horrible to me. And it turns out that my other brother and parents will also be in France when Snapdragon and his wife are there.

The latest conversations about their visit have been punctuated with comments about how much all their travel has cost this year. He ponders aloud to me how they will be able to afford the trip to visit us after paying for France.

I am so hurt that the trip has been changed from January to spring to June to September. I feel like meeting his niece has taken a back seat to everyone. Or maybe I feel like I have taken a back seat to everyone. Or maybe I am pissed off that he changed the date of the trip here to see our sister. Or maybe it is all of this and more.

I want to tell him how I feel about the changes in the date to come visit us and meet Hester. But I worry that if I criticize I could loose the only family member who is supportive of me. I am sure these worries are just in my head. But am I brave enough to say anything?