The Saga of the Origional Birth Certificate

My darling Clementine is amazing. When she puts her mind to it, she can accomplish anything. When her heart is involved, that women will move mountains to do what is right. This is one of many reasons I love her. Our state has a new law that seals all original birth certificates for children born up to some date in the future that I don't remember and that is not really necessary. All that is necessary is that Hester would not have access to her own original birth certificate until the laws changed. But Clementine had her heart in getting the original birth certificate for our daughter and she did it. She is my shero.



The upcoming finalization of Hester's adoption entails the issuing of a new birth certificate with Clementine and my names on it in the parent boxes. We legally become her parents that day and from that day forth, she legally becomes her wonderfully long, immensely meaningful, and beautiful name we chose for her. However, on that day, she is no longer her equally wonderful, immensely meaningful, beautiful name her birth parents choose for her. Her birth mother gave Hester her own first name, her mothers name for Hester's middle name, and her husband's last name.



I remember Ms. Stork, our social worker's words, that we hold Hester's adoption story for her until she is old enough to learn it and understand it. A part of that story is our memories of our time with her and her birth parents and brother. Another part of that story is our memories of our time with her, watching her grow up. Another part is the paperwork that documents her connection to her birth family. This includes her birth family's adoption plan, her prenatal reports, her first foot print from after her birth, photos of her with her birth family, and her original birth certificate. It is vital for Hester to have every piece of information we can give her so she knows who she is, who her birth family is, and how she came to our family.



As you may know, my mother and aunt were sisters who were adopted together. When I was 16, my mother started her search for her birth family. She was at least 40. Her questions about who her birth family was and who she was finally were answered, sort of. Sadly, when she and her sister tracked down their birth father, he was dead. They thought they found their birth mother but she denied she was their birth mother. They did find cousins and aunts and uncles. Many questions were answered. Pictures of their parents were produced. Stories about them told. My mother finally found out that the family gave them to the state as an act of love and protection, not of abandonment as they had thought for many years. I don't want my daughter to ever think she was abandoned. She never was.



So the original birth certificate is a small piece we can give to Hester so she does not have to question "who am I" any more than any teenager or adult does. It is also a small piece that tells her that she was not abandoned or unloved by her birth family, as evidenced by their chosen names for her. It is a part of her adoption story that we hold for her.

This is why it is so important to us to get it. I am speaking for myself but I think my wife will agree, what comes off as mixed feelings is the combination of happiness, joy, relief that Hester is ours and sadness and grief that Hester's final legal connection to her birth family will be erased when her name is changed and her parents are changed on the birth certificate and that her birth parents don't get to see this amazing child's smile every day.

Her birth father repeated over and over those first days of her life that we are all family now. And it is true, we are all bonded together through Hester. And like any other family member, you remember them on days that are anniversaries of good time and hard times. We will always remember them on days of importance with Hester, as well on days of the ordinary.