Happy 7th Civil Union

Today is the anniversary of our 7th Civil Union. Seven years ago, Clementine and I got up on a snowy, icy morning and drove to Vermont. We barely arrived in time at the town clerk's office to get our paperwork. Then, that afternoon, we were married in the library of the bed and breakfast where we were staying. Only Clementine, the Justice of the Peace and I were there. That was a good thing because we each wrote a paragraph to about why we were marrying the other and we both SOBBED. Clementine almost had to stop the ceremony to gain her composure. It was a beautiful day.

I did not expect that it would have such a huge emotional impact upon me. When we decided to do it, we were engaged and planning our church wedding. Bush had recently taken office and we were concerned that he would work to take away civil unions from VT. So we made plans and went up, more as a political statement and to be counted. But, pledging one's life to another person is HUGE. Since that day, we have been married twice more, once in a church and the other was our legal marriage. Each still brought tears to our eyes and choked our voices with emotion as we once again pledged ourselves to each other.

As I pondered what to give Clementine for today, I came across an old flier for this book. Immediately, I knew it was perfect. When it came in the mail, I looked through it to see if we were in any of the pictures, since we were at many of the rallies and all of the Constitutional Conventions. Alas, we were not, but seeing those pictures brought back the enormity of the fight for our rights. The fact that we are protected and have the same rights as others in this state is really huge.

I read someone's blog where the person said she did not believe in gay marriage for it does not equal a straight marriage in rights. True. We do not have most federal rights. Our taxes are filed jointly for the state but individually for federal. Because my company has a federal dental insurance, not state contract, I cannot put Clementine on my policy. We could not change our passports to match our married name. And the list of inequities goes on.

But, we gained so much in this state when we got married. We could buy a house together as straight couples do. We could file taxes jointly. We could change our name when we were married. When hospitalized, we have access to each other. When our daughter goes to the doctor, either can take her without any fuss. We were able to adopt her and be on the amended birth certificate as her parents. And the list of gains goes on.

However, the biggest gain is the depth added to our relationship. Our love grows each day. Our commitment to each other deepens each day. But when we said those words to each other, witnessed by the Justice of the Peace, then our community, then by JPP, Orca, an NPR reporter, and a photographer from the Globe, have had the greatest impact upon our relationship. I am so very lucky to know, love, and be loved by Clementine.

Clementine, you are my heart.