My brother, Snapdragon, comes today to visit for a week. I should be excited but am just feeling stretched thin. It is the first time for he and Hester to meet. He is the first of my family to meet our daughter. I should be excited but can only think of work, interns, how I want to go back to bed, the knitting I must complete for Hester's baptism, and the drive in to work. Oh, and I must pester the priest. And find the air mattress.
I am hoping to do fun things with Snapdragon and Hester and Clementine when she is not working. The Big E, southwick zoo, etc. It will be fun once I get through today.
19 September, 2007
17 September, 2007
Irritated with a Priest
Will that send me to Hell?
I know it won't but thought it would spark your interest in reading my post.
So I am irritated at our priest. Clementine thinks it could be me doing some transference from family issues. I don't doubt it but I still think I have every right to be irritated with her. Here is why.
1. Hester is to be baptised in like two weeks and we have not met with her yet about the details, to talk about what baptism means, or to even fill out the paperwork. I guess there is an intent to baptise form, much like the intent to graduate form in college, which my adviser did not tell me about until I called him to ask where my degree was because it had been months since I finished. Anyway, back to the priest, she has said she would contact us last weekend but did not. And then after church we waited to chat with her but she went right to vestry meeting and was unavailable, saying she would contact us this week. So far, nothing. I do not want Hester's baptism postponed because of the priest's inability to meet with us.
2. When Hester was in the NICU, I emailed our priest to tell her that we would like her to be placed on the prayer list and to let her know that our child was in the hospital. We did not hear back at all from her. I was hurt and also spread too thin to deal with it so I did not pursue it. Clementine did email the church office person the same message and again, nothing. Hester was never put on the prayer list. Finally, when Clementine contacted them much later about the baptism plans, she went through the web site's contact us form. This did get a response. So there must be some glitch within their email system but that is a pretty big glitch. It would have meant so much to have the support of that loving community while we were up with Hester every day at the hospital. There are people there who we know would have called or visited. But they did not know. We have not been able to talk with the priest about this for she was away on sabbatical and has not gotten back to us about the baptism. So I stew about this as I wait to meet with her.
3. The final thing is a year or so ago, I had asked to meet with her about religious questions within my work. I made an appointment and showed up on time to find that she had gone home to feed her dog, forgetting our appointment. I was so irritated that she forgot the meeting and I then coped in my usual way of avoiding.
I sometimes wonder if she wants us to be in her church. The church community has embraced us completely and is so very welcoming. We are members. But I feel she is less than warm with us, or me. We are not members who are there doing lots of church things or volunteer to teach Sunday school. Hell, I am not even an Episcopalian. But we come to the church clean up days until the baby came. We helped usher. We help clean up after the picnics. We try to be a part of things.
I don't know where I am going with this. I did not get much sleep last night and am very tired. But again, she did not email me or Clementine and I was feeling angry. I expect priests to be there when you need them. It isn't like we are pesting her all the time for stuff. I would have liked to have my sick baby prayed for. It would have been nice to meet with her when I had questions. It would be nice to learn about the Episcopalian baptism and how it differs from Catholic ones. Clementine has questions about the language that she is not comfortable with. I want her to be happy with it. I don't want us to do something half assed. But we need to meet with the priest. I guess tomorrow I will put her on my call to pester list right after the adoption agency that has had our paperwork for a week already but has not contacted us about filing it with the court.
I know it won't but thought it would spark your interest in reading my post.
So I am irritated at our priest. Clementine thinks it could be me doing some transference from family issues. I don't doubt it but I still think I have every right to be irritated with her. Here is why.
1. Hester is to be baptised in like two weeks and we have not met with her yet about the details, to talk about what baptism means, or to even fill out the paperwork. I guess there is an intent to baptise form, much like the intent to graduate form in college, which my adviser did not tell me about until I called him to ask where my degree was because it had been months since I finished. Anyway, back to the priest, she has said she would contact us last weekend but did not. And then after church we waited to chat with her but she went right to vestry meeting and was unavailable, saying she would contact us this week. So far, nothing. I do not want Hester's baptism postponed because of the priest's inability to meet with us.
2. When Hester was in the NICU, I emailed our priest to tell her that we would like her to be placed on the prayer list and to let her know that our child was in the hospital. We did not hear back at all from her. I was hurt and also spread too thin to deal with it so I did not pursue it. Clementine did email the church office person the same message and again, nothing. Hester was never put on the prayer list. Finally, when Clementine contacted them much later about the baptism plans, she went through the web site's contact us form. This did get a response. So there must be some glitch within their email system but that is a pretty big glitch. It would have meant so much to have the support of that loving community while we were up with Hester every day at the hospital. There are people there who we know would have called or visited. But they did not know. We have not been able to talk with the priest about this for she was away on sabbatical and has not gotten back to us about the baptism. So I stew about this as I wait to meet with her.
3. The final thing is a year or so ago, I had asked to meet with her about religious questions within my work. I made an appointment and showed up on time to find that she had gone home to feed her dog, forgetting our appointment. I was so irritated that she forgot the meeting and I then coped in my usual way of avoiding.
I sometimes wonder if she wants us to be in her church. The church community has embraced us completely and is so very welcoming. We are members. But I feel she is less than warm with us, or me. We are not members who are there doing lots of church things or volunteer to teach Sunday school. Hell, I am not even an Episcopalian. But we come to the church clean up days until the baby came. We helped usher. We help clean up after the picnics. We try to be a part of things.
I don't know where I am going with this. I did not get much sleep last night and am very tired. But again, she did not email me or Clementine and I was feeling angry. I expect priests to be there when you need them. It isn't like we are pesting her all the time for stuff. I would have liked to have my sick baby prayed for. It would have been nice to meet with her when I had questions. It would be nice to learn about the Episcopalian baptism and how it differs from Catholic ones. Clementine has questions about the language that she is not comfortable with. I want her to be happy with it. I don't want us to do something half assed. But we need to meet with the priest. I guess tomorrow I will put her on my call to pester list right after the adoption agency that has had our paperwork for a week already but has not contacted us about filing it with the court.
Introducing . . . . .
Clementine named him Mr. Belvedere. I ordered him for us a few weeks ago. I thought he would be helpful for Clementine. She gets up every morning early to sweep and mop as well as do other cleaning and preparing for the children. And now she has the added work of getting Hester up and going before the other little cherubs arrive. I thought if he did an OK job mopping the floors each night, that would be good enough. We could do more of the deep cleaning on the weekends. I have been surprised at how good of a job he really does do. The floors are clean, not streaked and even the edges look good. Thanks for the help, Mr. Belvedere!
PS. We did not choose that floor. It was here when we moved in.
04 September, 2007
The day before the flu
Hester and I enjoyed a little fall leaf action. Yes, she rides on my shoulders.
Not So Fun
Do you know what is not so fun? Going to visit the in-laws and all the extended family on that side and getting the flu, throwing up outside a McDonald's, spending a fever filled night in a hotel also throwing up, and then driving six or seven hours to get home. Good times!
One funny thing that happened. I was sleeping and having those weird fever dreams and in it I heard, "The countdown begins. 10, 9" I woke up to feel my stomach getting very queasy. Despite being awake, I heard the countdown continue. "8, 7" I broke out into a cold sweat. I knew it was coming. "6, 5" I started heading to the bathroom. "4, 3, 2" I took off my glasses and assumed the position and guess what happened on cue on 0. Yup. It was so weird I sort of chuckled in my head. It made that vomiting episode a bit more fun. You gotta look on the bright side when worshiping the porcelain god.
Another funny thing, when I first was puking, Clementine and I had the same thought. That she would be holding my hair if I had enough hair to hold. She loves me that much. Ah, the joys of marriage. Thanks Clementine! I know you got my back. I love you.
One funny thing that happened. I was sleeping and having those weird fever dreams and in it I heard, "The countdown begins. 10, 9" I woke up to feel my stomach getting very queasy. Despite being awake, I heard the countdown continue. "8, 7" I broke out into a cold sweat. I knew it was coming. "6, 5" I started heading to the bathroom. "4, 3, 2" I took off my glasses and assumed the position and guess what happened on cue on 0. Yup. It was so weird I sort of chuckled in my head. It made that vomiting episode a bit more fun. You gotta look on the bright side when worshiping the porcelain god.
Another funny thing, when I first was puking, Clementine and I had the same thought. That she would be holding my hair if I had enough hair to hold. She loves me that much. Ah, the joys of marriage. Thanks Clementine! I know you got my back. I love you.
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