Hello Again

Hey there bloggy friends.


Sorry I have been absent. I have been quite busy through the day at work and then when I am home, I really only want to focus on Hester and Clementine. But I have missed blogging. I do read your blogs a few times a week. However, I have moved to lurker status by not commenting.

So I wanted to tell you a crazy thing that just happened. I was telling Clementine about this annoying OT at work. She was lying in bed and I was standing at the doorway with my hand on the bathroom doorway. All of a sudden, I felt this strong tap tap on my fingers. Frightened, I pulled my hand away and turned in horror, thinking someone was hiding in our bathroom, tapping my hand. I looked in, only to see little miss Josephine. Clementine laughed so hard, she nearly wet herself.

My daily life with Hester and Clementine has been wonderful as always. We have been taking small and large trips here and there with her. Every day with her is a gift. As is every day with Clementine. My life is so very blessed by both of them.

Here we are at a farm.

Here we are at a museum.

Here we are at a family reunion.

Here we are at the zoo.

Work has been good and hard. It is good to be more focused there. I feel like I am really there, present, and making a difference in some kids lives. There is the usual personality differences like the annoying OT from earlier but it is all manageable. I still struggle to find my professional identity post-baby. Before Hester, I had a razor sharp focus at work. Work was my life. Home was very important but I really worked hard to get to where I was for my career. I wrote articles, wrote research proposals, wrote grant proposals at home in my spare time. The moment I saw Hester's head, my life and focus changed to family. Work is still very important and the work I do is very compelling. I love it. But I love my family more. Who am I now as a music therapist that work, my clients, my career, music therapy is not my life? I am not sure. I just keep putting one foot in front of the other and expect one day I will wake up one morning and know.

Work has been hard too. There was a girl from Latin America who when I last sang to her, I knew that day it was the last time that I would ever see her. That evening, she was transferred to the PICU at another hospital where she passed away. It is amazing that a little girl who never woke up reached out and touched my heart. Her passing is a sadness that stays with me as I see her sister and grandmother daily. Her death was pointless and an outcome of violence from a family member. This is one of the hardest part of my job, knowing the evil that lurks within the heart of human beings.

At the same time, I have seen how simple kindnesses from me have touched deeply the hearts of two other patients. A sympathetic ear, a kind smile, singing a favorite song, holding some one's hand when they are scared, rubbing some one's back as they cry, these things do more than we ever know. It is an honor to be with these children as they recover and rebuild their lives.

A fun story of professional activities to follow all that is needed. So I belong to the MT listserv, which is so incredibly annoying and asinine at times. Some people say things that make me wonder what they studied in school, how they ever got a therapy job, and fear for the future of my profession. One of those times came recently. I was so flabbergasted by what someone was saying that I had to confront it directly. Just so you know, I did not swear, say wicked, or threaten violence. I used I statements and not even my favorite one "I feel you are a jerk." I was polite, saying perhaps we had different ways of practicing. But I effectively shut her up from saying any more untherapeutic things. I also appeared to stopped all threads on the listserv for a few days, except for various job postings. It was excellent!

I fit in shorts I did not fit into at the beginning of the summer. I also went down one scrub size.

My hair is finally cut and I do not look like a muffin.

Mitt Romney is a jerk, comparing serving in the military in Iraq or Afghanistan to working on his campaign. Please God, do not let him be elected president!

Also, Carl Rove is leaving! Oh happy day!! Bush is truly a lame duck now. Kick him while he is down, Nancy Pelosi!!

Oh, when passing out packets of sunscreen at a local outdoor concert as an awareness campaign for the hospital, the park rangers came to us and told us we could not pass out that at a family event. We were dumbfounded. Sunscreen is not family friendly??? But then we noted the size of the packets were the same as that of condoms. We laughed and told the rangers what it was and that we were from a children's hospital.

It is late and I gotta work tomorrow. thanks for coming by to check on me. I will try to post regularly. If you don't hear from me, I am probably busy but lurking around your blog.