Dear Ms. Know-It-All,

I just wanted to clear up a point with you after the meeting last night. During the meeting, you said my wife and I had an "alternative lifestyle." The term "alternative lifestyle" implies that our way of living is a substitute for when "normal lifestyle" is not available, such as alternative plans, alternative fuel source, alternative routes, and alternative treatments. These are all things that are not as good as the original but sort of suitable. This is not acceptable to my wife, the GLBT nation, or me. We are called lesbian, transgender, gay, bi, queer, trans, bisexual, two spirited, questioning, and omnisexual. If those terms are too hard on your lips, you can revert to the acronym GLBT.

I also want to inform you that I do not have a "lifestyle." The term "lifestyle" implies something transient, something chosen, something fun. I live a life. And I do have style, a style unto myself. Oh yeah!

I recommend you get some education but not from me. I am sick to death of having to be an educator to your ignorant, backwards, crazy-ass self. I am too busy living my life and maintaining my style.

Love,
Hashbrown