Here are a bunch of names we have have tossed around. None really fits perfectly.
- Mami
- Mom
- Mum
- Mumzy
- Mumz
- Mummy
- Poppy
- Mumma
- No first names, like Mama Hashbrown
- No made up names
So what do you think?
Here are my thoughts. I really like Poppy for three reasons. First, it does not have a history of specific traditional female role like the other names. Second, it sounds a lot like the Latin American name for father, Papi. Third, it is a flower that I adore. My fears of what others will think and assume is where the problem lies. People will assume that since I have a more father-like name that I am the "man" in the relationship with my wife. That whole butch-fem/man-woman role thing is so old and so tiring to confront. It goes on so much already because I have short hair, don't wear dresses, and like power tools. I do not want to compound the pre-existing assumptions with a man-ish parental name. I also think about the trouble it may cause for our child especially as s/he is a teen and adult, having to explain it to friends, bosses, coworkers, future in-laws, etc. But then I ask myself, why do I think about what others may think? They will think what they will think no matter what I decide. Why not just do what I want? Maybe I should just be called Parent.
So I am asking all my readers to chime in with what you think. I am not looking for you to make my decision but want some input and maybe new ideas. So delurk and comment, please.
Love, Hashbrown
14 comments:
I also like papi or Poppy...but I see your concerns. I truly believe that Hester will naturally pick a name for you that feels right for both of you. But you're wise to consider all of this ahead of time. Love ya! -t
Hey Schatzi,
Love your new quilts! They are all so lovely.
Thanks so much for your support. I know our child will also help to decide what to call us as s/he grows up. I just wanna be ready.
The only original thing I can come up with (because otherwise all I think of are variations of Mom really) is Baba, which my childhood friend called her grandmother. It was short for Babushka, because she was, I guess, Russian although I never thought about it much.
Now I know it means old lady or grandmother (see here) but it sounds a little like Poppa but not exactly, and not like Mama at all. Also, Baba is short of Babushka so it's not an automatic association with the "old lady" definition.
In other words, I'm not trying to call you an old lady, I'm just trying to think of another word for a parent or guardian that's not Mom or Dad!
Good luck, I agree that Hester Willa might override you and make up his/her own moniker anyway.
My last comment kind of made no sense in the middle. I was trying to point out that "Baba" while I'm telling you it's short for Babushka, is not obviously short for that and I assume most people wouldn't know where it came from and so nobody would think you were being called Babushka. OK, I'm done now.
The only other thing I can suggest is maybe that's a line of opportunity - other languages' words for a parent. Maybe there you'd find something that sounds right to you.
Thanks JPP. All your ideas are great. I did not think you were saying I am an old woman, despite being much more aged than you. Hahahaha. Also, wicked thunder is coming your way.
I'm betting that Hester Willa will end up picking some variation. Hubby loves Mumzy, I think you should go with whatever you want, and I also like Jenny PP's suggestion. Also, have you been to Name That Mama? (link from AJWP's - I'm being to lazy to link). The mamas - Emelin and Brooke are Meli and Mama, repectively. If you can find a part of your first name that would work for a young child that other people don't use, this might be an idea (I'm not thinking of the one you grew up with, more the latter part of your name). I agree on the no real first name, too, just a variation that would mean you only to H.W. Or, you could just make HW call you Ma'am! (kidding!!!!)
Hey Canada,
Thanks for the call. We will be calling you back soon. Not tonight.
Yeah, we talked about Meli too. It doesn't scream Hashbrown that much. I did think about being called Ma'am or Mother. That will teach the child RESPECT for her/his parents. Not. But it is funny to think of.
I think you should definitely go by "Ma'am." Or even "Sir." Ha ha--that kills me!
Seriously, you know I love "Poppy." But if you decide to use it, you'll have to feel comfortable with it, you know?
I love you, sweetie.
hey. this is leslie meadows son. my mom emailed me your blog address, and i have to say, you have enlightened me and brought to light some issues that i had never thought of. im absolutely fascinated. i hope everything works out brilliantly, and im sure it will.
Hey AJWP,
Sir would be perfect! hahaha
Nate,
Welcome to my blog. Your mother is a dear friend of mine and I am honored she told you about my blog. I am happy you found my ponderings interesting and do very much appreciate your support and well wishes.
I also like Baba or Papi. Baba, however, is what Greek children call their fathers, too. So if you are trying to avoid a name with male associations, I just wanted to let you know.
Also, the little one is most likely to call you whatever she hears others usually call you. My 'older' parent friends realized this when their first daughter began to speak and called her mother by her first name.
They decided to go with Mama, and on subsequent kids were sure to address each other as Mama and Baba. (The husband/father is Greek).
Just my two cents, thanks.
turtle
What about Poppie?
It's a hard thing to come up with... a name for keeps. One of my couple friends (i should really link you guys as they have been thru EVERYTHING when it comes to being a same sex couple adopting-which they have done). Anyways, their kids call them Mom and Mum...:)
Lola
Hi turtle.
Thanks for your comments. I will throw Baba into the mix.
Hey Lola,
Poppie is good too.
Hey Two Steps,
I am glad to know there are others who are struggling with names as I am. The thing is each of us can reconseptualize names like mom or mama but that is only for us and maybe our immediate family (wife and child[ren]). The rest of the community can/will/do have strong pre-existing, gender-role stereotyping, ideas of what a mama looks like, acts like, dresses like, etc. But I guess that is what we do every day as women. I wish you great luck starting your family.
Post a Comment