Changes

I have felt so helpless since falling on Sunday. I cannot do much because I am on crutches and have to keep my foot elevated and iced at all times. Tonight, my wife was preparing for an interview after the children left and I could not do much of anything to help except I did wiped down the surfaces in the bathroom. Also, over the past two days, I feel like I am a burden because she already has children to take care of and I am asking her to get me more ice packs, a glass of water, coffee, etc. I cannot go get anything because I don’t have a spare hand. I do wear a hoodie a lot so I can pile things in the pocket and even the hood if I am desperate. Periodically yesterday, I felt like crying because I am so helpless, this is such a stupid accident, I cannot work, and worry that it will not heal for a very long time.

I did start to feel better today when I started working on a professional manuscript for publishing. I had wanted to get working on this for months but just did not have the time. And here I am blogging instead of working on it. Do I feel bad? Nah, I will do it after I blog.

It is funny how one silly second, stepping on a ball, can change your life so much. The second before, I am moving, doing, and active. The second after, I am helpless, immobile, and unproductive. The second before, I had plans to start walking to work from the train station and to start riding my bike from the train station in my hometown to my house. The second after, I am wondering if I can afford to take a taxi from South Station to work so I don’t have to walk a ton on my crutches. Life is just weird like that.