24 February, 2006

The Tell Tale Kitty

Once upon a 3 am sleepy
To the litter box, he did creepy
Doing something that wasn’t pee pee
In the room next to my bedroom door

Not doing what cats can do
Uncovered, it was left to stew
And the stench it, grew and grew
Wafting toward my bedroom door

In my bed so deep in sleep
My 40 winks, I tried to keep
When wide open my eyes did leap
At the odor seeping past my bedroom door

Stink stink

At first I was quite perturbed
My sleep that kitty had disturbed
The sleep damage must be curbed
Caring for the stench beyond my bedroom door

Stink stink

Up I got and quickly ran
To the bathroom, switched on the fan
Back to bed with my woman
Believing it was done outside my bedroom door

Stink Stink

It would not dissipate
This odor kept me awake
Despite hiding behind my mate
The odor from past my bedroom door

Stink STINK

From my guilt I could not flee
Oh why does this have to be
Late at night, awaking me?
The kitty near my bedroom door

STINK STINK

I rolled to one side STINK STINK
I rolled again STINK STINK
Pulled up the covers STINK STINK STINK STINK STINK STINK

Overcome at last by the guilt
My resolve to sleep did finally wilt
I’ll take care of that odor I smelled
Stinking up my bedroom door

To the cat box I did go
To shovel something that wasn’t snow
Down the toilet it did go
As the kitty wandered past my bedroom door

In bed again but wide awake
Pleading with kitty, “For heavens sake
Cover up what you make
In the litter beyond my bedroom door”

Spoke the Kitty, “nevermore”

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

This gets so many prizes I can't even begin to address it. I love it.

Psycho Kitty said...

SNORK!
Self-cleaning litter box. The. Best. Thing. Ever.

Clementine said...

This poem of yours is not a choice. Poor Reuben!

Hashbrown said...

Poor Reuben?!? You always take his side because you can sleep through anything.

Anonymous said...

the way your rhymed fan with woman reminds me of mike myers in "so i married an axe murderer"... you know, "harriet. harri-ette... un-know...ing. un-love... ed." love it! if this is the kitty going to the vet this weekend, maybe you can ask the vet to wave a magic wand over him so there will be no more stinky night poos.

Clementine said...

1. OMG Natasha, I really love that movie! My brother and I always quoting from it. My favorite lines are from Mike Myers' mom; I love the parts about the Juice Tiger and the Weekly World News Garth Books Juice Diet. Awesome!
2. Hashbrown, I SO do not "always take his side!" What about the times when I call him a little bastard? With this particular issue, I feel bad about his little constipation problem, so I don't mind when he doesn't cover up his poo. I figure he's so traumatized by the actual passage of the poo that he needs to flee the scene of the crime ASAP. Poor Reuben, indeed! I'd run, too, if my asshole bled every time I took a shit.
(3. Our vet already knows about the constipation, so please don't worry about Bubby too much or yell at us for being bad pet mommies.)

Anonymous said...

Again, this is why I have a dog!!! (okay, and twins, but they are well past the diaper stage - and my nose is thankful!)

Anonymous said...

I'm not sure which is worse.... having a dog whose poo you have to pick up 3 times a day because you live in a city, or having a kitty who leaves stinky poos outside your bedroom door at unfortunate times. I vote for all pets learning to use the toilet. Ha ha.

Hashbrown said...

I am with you on that JPP. When our kitties were potty trained, it was heaven. Except the time we were away for a weekend and they clogged the toilet and we had to run out at 12 am to find a plunger. Other than that, toilet trained cats is heaven.