First Date

Peaches and I had our long over-due first date last night. Before you get all confused, let me explain. Seven years ago, Peaches joined the gay marching band I was in and we met. She was so smart, funny, beautiful, and caring. We had a magical day soon after we met where together we posted fliers for an upcoming concert. We walked and talked all over Cambridge and I knew she was someone very special. We made plans to go out to a Kate Clinton show on a date.

At that point in my life, I was 32 and was ready to stop dating and going from lover to lover. I wanted someone who would be permanent in my life. At the time, as cliché as it is, I said, “I want Ms. Right not Ms. Right-Now.” From our walk around Cambridge, I knew that moment that Peaches would be wonderful to date. We were both very attracted to each other and could talk for hours without lulls or uncomfortable points. But her age made me pause. We are 10 years apart but for 4 months and 1 day, we are 11 years apart. She was 21 when I met her.

When I was 21, there was no settling down for me. It took me until 32 to decide I was ready to settle down. Not that some lovers hadn’t tried. I remember when I was 22, a lover wanted to exchange rings as a symbol of the deepening of our relationship. I was not having that sort of permanency so I suggested we exchange earrings or mood rings and couched it in some bull shit about not conforming to the heterosexist patriarchy’s definition of marriage and commitment. God, I was an asshole at times. I am sure I still am at times.

Peaches' tender age scared me in that I was worried that she would not want to settle down and my heart would be broken. So I cancelled the date. She sold the tickets to my roommate so she wasn’t out the money. I talked at length with a dear friend from college shortly after canceling the date. She really encouraged me to take the chance if Peaches was really as wonderful as I had said. Soon after that, I called Peaches and apologized. We talked for hours on the phone, about our ages, our lives, and our goals. We made plans for another date. I now realize how lucky I was that she let me have my moment and then come to my senses.
Finally, last night we went to see Kate Clinton on a double date with friends. She was very funny and I wish I hadn’t been so silly years ago. But, perhaps it was necessary for Peaches and I to confront the age thing right away and put it to bed. I don’t know. I just know that I cannot imagine life now without Peaches. She is my heart.