My Friday Rant

Hey, Commuter Rail Riders!
Don't get on or off the train when it is MOVING!

Thank you.

Photo Shoot

Recently, there has been an influx of reporters wanting to do stories about my hospital. Last week, a reporter/photographer from US News and World Report was there and taking pictures of the hospital. I guess they are doing a feature or big article on the hospital. My boss lobbied for all the disciplines in her department to be photographed and potentially featured in the article.

He first photographed me and one of my interns walking down the hallway with our guitars strapped to our backs. He kept following us saying "keep walking" and snapping shots. Is this what it is like to be a super model?

Next, I was photographed in the O.R. singing to a child until she fell asleep. It felt so odd to have him moving this way and that way, clicking pictures, switching cameras, and getting different angles as I tried to sing to the child. I could see the child was more nervous than usual. It must have been tough for her to be going to surgery and be photographed for a magazine. While worrying about her and her mother, I noticed I was feeling really self-conscious. I was thinking, 'God, my hair!' and 'My mouth always look so stupid in photos when I am singing.' Then I realized that I was wearing a mask and a hat so all people would see was my eyes. There are some stupid things we think at the most odd times.

The next day, a guy from WGBH came to talk to a coworker and I at the recommendation of the acute surgeon. The guy from WGBH wants to do a story on our hospital and the innovative ways we treat children, including music therapy. I was so amazed when he told me this. I hope it works out. I would love to be on public radio or television. And what great press for the hospital.

Being True to Your Roots

The late last week, I went to blog on our home computer after work. My wife blogs from this computer too. Sometimes I find her snacks left on the computer desk. Recently, it was Oreos, which I then enjoyed as I surfed through various blogs. However, this time the snack on the desk billed it's self as "The Cheese Filled Snack of NASCAR." There is so much wrong with this, I don't know where to start. When I brought it too her attention that she was eating "The Cheese Filled Snack of NASCAR," she said, "I am true to my roots."

Homelessness

I pass many homeless people in my travels about Boston. I often think about how easily in this economy it is to become homeless. It could happen to just about anyone. I think of the myriad of things we have at home and imagine having to give them all up. Or having to choose the few things I would keep with me. Would I keep my guitar? Would I keep my sax? Would I sell them so I could buy food or a room somewhere? How would life be to be concerned about my next meal and where I will sleep? To have my biggest concerns be about safety, violence, and the weather?

I ponder these things and know just how easily I could be the person on the street being passed by. We all stand apart from being homeless by a few unfortunate events, like the loss of a job, the loss of an income, financial hardship, or mental illness. I am then thankful for all I have, my house, my job, my wife, our stuff, my friends, and our pets and pray that we never become homeless.

Strawberry Picking

We went strawberry picking at our very favorite U-Pick, Tougas Family Farm. It was a perfect day for it. The weather was cool and the sun was behind the clouds. The rain from earlier in th day had stopped. AJWP and I always enjoy such dorky activities. So now, we have a huge flat of beautiful strawberries in our kitchen awaiting jam making, freezing, and eating. There was a little stress on both our parts, worrying about strawberries falling out of the flat and staining our the trunk of our new car, but luckily, that did not happen. I cannot wait for AJWP to make her delicious Strawberry Glace Pie! It is SO GOOD!!!! You should come over and try a slice! You'll LOVE it. I cannot wait!!

Canned Whipped Cream

Saturday night, I was feeling inspired by the rash of children who injured themselves doing something stupid and had to be admitted to the hospital where I work. When we finished our spray can of whipped cream, I turned to AJWP and said, "Should we huff this or throw it in a fire so it can explode on us?"

Midnight Meals

Yesterday’s post brought back a flood of memories of other misadventures with my friend K. He and I and our friend J. were all survivors, gay, and loved to go clubbing. We would hang out at each other’s places, go dancing, and were a constant support to each other as we worked on our molestation/rape issues.

We could always be found at the bar Friday and Saturday. Sometimes Tuesday or Wednesday too. I clubbed a lot through college and for many years beyond. It was great with K. and J. None of us drank much at all so we would go there to dance with each other. After dancing from 10 until 2 AM, we would drive to Dennys or Taco Bell (when we were particularly poor) for dinner/breakfast/midnight snack. There is nothing like eating some pancakes with a gay man and a gender queer man and maybe a drag queen or two. It was a hoot. We also narrowly escaped being beaten one or two times.

There was this one-year when spring break rolled around and found us all broke. No one could go anywhere and we all had to work. So, every night for a week, we would end up usually at my house. J. would bring a tube of Pillsbury cut and cook cookies because he worked at Albertsons. I would fire up the stove and we would play Gin Rummy until 3-4 AM, eating those nasty cookies. Gone are the wild days of my youth.

Another misadventure we had together was when we decided to go march in the Take Back the Night March. We were so excited to go. I think I remember having to convince J. to go but he agreed and the three of us drove down to where the march was starting. However, the march coordinators said men could not march because the women at the march did not want the protection of men. K. in his faggiest voice said, “Honey, the women would be protecting us.” Sadly, the march organizers would not budge on this issue so we left and went to Chi Chi’s for Mexican food and to “Betty it up”* about the march.

I wonder how J. and K. are doing now and where they are. I hope they are doing well and happy. I miss our comradery, shared survivorship, support, clubbing, and late night meals.

* To Betty it up is to talk all catty like about a topic. Betty was used in a variety of manners back then.

Graffiti

I was looking out the window of the train this morning as I talked to AJWP on the cell and saw the best graffiti ever! Along the side of some warehouse-ish building, nestled amongst tags and other graffiti was "Stop saying the word fag!" Now that is my kind of graffiti!

It reminded me of many years ago, when I was in college and I did some graffiti-ing. A good friend of mine, K., had been gang raped one or two years prior and the anniversary of the date was approaching. He wanted to do something to reclaim the alley where it happened. So late one night, my very Christian girlfriend (who we had spent hours talking into helping us) drove us to the alley. She kept watch while K. and I got to work. He spray painted a white outline of a body (like in crime scenes) while I sprayed "A man was raped here." He added "Stop Rape!" and we raced back to the car. We drove to the Dennys and had a midnight breakfast and celebrated our public nuisance/political statement/personal healing.

Oh, those were the days!

Evolution?

Ok. Tonight, I decided that humans are not that much above the rest of the animals on the evolutionary scale. Really, we differ very little from say the wildebeest of the Serengeti.




Picture it.
A herd of 75-100 humans (including me) are milling about near the monitor at the train station. Similar to a herd of wildebeests on the Serengeti, we are eating, scratching, waving away bugs, and snorting. We, like them, are keeping an eye and ear out for any changes.




A noise causes everyone to freeze. In unison, we look up and listen. “Now boarding on track 6, the 6:05” and we are off. Moving in unison like wildebeests when a predator approaches, we all turn and hurry off in a massive herd to get on our train. We looked like a herd of animals acting together for self and herd protection. The only difference is that wildebeests don’t get to sit in an air-conditioned train to go home.

Random Rants

Hey Young Parents!
Starbucks Frappucino is delicious, as are Doritos but they are not acceptable food for your baby under the age of one. Yeah, not a good idea.

Hey Dude who Farted next to me on the subway and then kept trying to scoot closer to me!
That was nasty!!

Hey BBQ-ers!
How about you don't put propellant on brickets that are already burning. Ok?

While we are on the theme of preventing injuries with fire,
Hey Stupid Pre-Teen and Teenage Boys!
How about you not throw aerosol cans into burning fires. Got it?

Thanks. Ranting is done for today.

Remember, We Are All Superwomen

Sorry Blog Friends, I have been busy and have not had the time to blog. I read your blogs late at night or at 5 AM every day. But I am back tonight with the latest verse in the Commuter Blues.

This morning, I slept all the way into South Station. I groggily shuffled off the train and followed the herd of commuters into the station. We shuffled down the escalator to the turnstiles for the Red and Silver lines. From the escalator I could hear one of my most favorite people I see every workday, the Metro Lady.

I don’t know her name but I do know that she is awesome. Every morning, she calls out “Free Metro. Good Morning! Free paper. Good Morning!” And she means it. She always has a smile and is so engaging of all her patrons. I smile just seeing her greeting everyone and spreading her cheer around. When I greet her, she hands me the paper saying “Here you go, sweetie,” or “Have a nice day, baby.” A few months ago, I was so honored when she called me “My friend.” She always remembers what holiday is coming up and tells everyone, “have a great Father’s Day” or Memorial Day or what ever. When about to go on vacation, she lets all of us know, saying, “I am going to be gone for a week. See you the following Monday. I am going to visit my daughter” or something of the like. She brightens my mornings so much.

Today, the Metro was promoting the 3D version of Superman. All the venders had to wear Superman t-shirts and 3D glasses. When I saw my Metro Lady dressed in this, I smiled and said “Oh no.” I feel for people who have to wear crazy shit for their job. But she took it in stride and said, “I hope I made your day.” I replied, “You always make my day,” and thanked her for my paper. As I started to walk away, she turned to me and said, “Remember, we are all Superwomen.”

Thank you, Metro Lady. You are the best!

Endless Work Week

Oh my God, this week is endless. I am so tired and I have to work a 12 hour shift today. I just want it to be the weekend so I can get more than six hours of sleep at a time.

Father's Day

Father’s Day is rapidly approaching. Lately, I have been thinking of my dad a lot. We have had different house repair issues, car repair issues, and bought a new car. These used to be the times I would call my father for advice. I don’t have that sort of relationship with him any more.

I always liked my dad and craved his attention. I felt an affinity with his quiet ways and independent spirit. I learned about the things he was interested in like jewelry making, hunting, cars, and photography to have time with him, quietly working together.

I wish I could show him our house and the work we have done on it. I want to show him how I fixed the sagging porch. I want to show him the pictures of the radiator hose in our house plumbing. I want to discuss our lawn trouble with him. I want to show him the floor we laid. I want to tell him about the great deal AJWP negotiated on our new car. I want us to stand around the car and look into its engine. I miss my father so much some times.

But he is also the parent who I feel most betrayed by. I always thought of him as an independent thinker, clear headed, and that he loved me. However, at key times in my life, he betrayed me. It stings to know this yet to love him so much.

Boston Pride Snap Report

This is my review of the parade and festivities. It was rainy and wet! Very Wet! This beats heat exhaustion but it poured the entire time. We did visit Gay Mart on the Common which was muddy, wet, and fun.

• First, I give mad props out to all the drag queens that marched and rode in floats in their dresses and make-up. Girls, you worked it with pride all through that rainy day. Three snaps to you!
• Second, each time when to when I see the parents, family, and friends marching, I choke up. This member of the Gay Men’s Chorus was pushing an elderly woman in a wheelchair who said to each person they passed, “That’s my son” as she pointed back to him with all the pride and joy a mother should have. Four snaps to PFLAG and all our allies!
• Next, the Pride Parade has grown in the number of multicultural groups participating from previous years. Love it. Three snaps!
• Along with that, I especially loved the Brazilian contingency whose drag queens were wearing outfits that paid homage to the World Cup! The soccer ball hat things were the best! Three snaps to you for your fantastic outfits!
• Three snaps to the librarian group who chanted "We're here! We're queer! Shhhh!"
• Also, Cambridge Health Alliance showed lots of ingenuity designing outfits made up of condoms. One snap for creativity!
• I am always happy to see all the churches out. One of my favorite moments was some UU ally who was probably new to the whole Pride thing. He marched along shouting out to the audience, “Be proud.” Also, it is great to see the pagans out marching too but man, their incense was stronger than any I smelled in all my years as a Catholic. Wow! It about knocked me over. One snap to you, with a cough.
• Three snaps for the Big Apple Corp from NYC. They had flags, rifles, a baton twirler, dancers, and a full band. I know how much it sucks to march in horrible rain while playing instruments! You go, band Fags!!
• Two snaps to the sober LGBTQ group who always has to march near the Jagermeister or Absolute truck.
• One snap to all the politicians who marched with their people despite the rain. No snaps (or votes) to those who just let their people march without making an appearance. Come on folks, work for my vote!
• One of my most memorable moments this year was when the Log Cabin Republicans marched by, the crowd was silent. It was beautiful! They earned it supporting stupid Mitt Romney! I turned to AJWP to kiki it up and this republican comes up to me and starts shaking my hand, wearing a Bush jacket, saying, “Not all republicans are bad.” I had to keep it polite so I did not go postal on the dude for wearing that jacket after all the defense of marriage stuff Bush just pulled this past week. I mean, what was he thinking? No snaps for you, mister!
• Sadly, a feminist also earned no snaps. She was wearing a shirt that stated she was a pro-life feminist. This I do not comprehend.
• My final comment is about all the uninformed Massachusetts LGBTQ residents. We visited MGLPC, GLAD, Equal Marriage, and Mass Equality booths to sign cards and thank them for all their work. I heard so many people at each booth saying they did not know our rights were under fire now. HELLO? Where have you been? No snaps for you.

Last Week: The Week of Stress

Monday

• Found out that music therapy is being added to the online charting. Was given until Tuesday to get something together with the MT at another hospital.
• Admission list at work is HUGE for entire summer.

Tuesday

• Rush to work for subject in my study only to find out the nurse had started the procedure without me.
• Tried to work on the online charting but was called to a two hour long dressing change.
  Left work early, missing the teleconference about the online charting.
• Met with neighborhood association about HUD grant money to fix and beautify homes on our street. The neighborhood association wanted entire grant application done then instead of what they said was their original time line.
• Went home, gathered tons of documentation for grant, returned to neighborhood center, copied for 20 minutes straight, and finished application.
• Late in evening, switch in kitchen stops working. Go to HomeDepot and buy part. Review how to do it in this book.

Wednesday

• Got up at 4:30 AM to repair switch in daylight before getting on train.
• 2 interns started at work. Trying to coordinate their observation and orientation while seeing my normal caseload.
• Car reeks of gasoline. Decide this is a serious problem. Decide car is going to continue to drain all funds from us so we will buy a new car.
• AJWP finds a mechanic and gets a rental car.
• AJWP applies for a car loan.
• Forgot about and missed therapy appointment.
• We drop off car at mechanic that night.
• Have dinner at the gayest Friendlys ever.

Thursday

• Interns!
• Tried to recruit for study but could not coordinate with interpreters.
• 6 PM appointment with inspector for grant. He recommends taking of one side of roof because wood looks like it could be going. They could then build a dormer and make the bathroom and bedroom much taller and use the space more effectively. This would be paid for (hopefully) by the HUD grant money.
• Went to car dealer. I was lost in all the numbers and freaked out about our budget. AJWP negotiated amazingly.
• Pick up our car from mechanic, which came to $508. It was leaking gas from the injector onto the manifold. Lord have mercy!
• Return rental.
  

Friday

• Train 30 minutes late.
• Interns!
• Canceled PT appointment for ankle so I could participate in the next thing.
• Another 2-hour teleconference on on-line documentation.
• Went to dealer to get VIN number from car after date night fun.

Saturday

• I never sleep in but did until almost ten.
• AJWP negotiating with many dealers to see who could beat the price we got Thursday. She gets a fantastic deal, even better than before!
• March in the rainiest Pride Parade ever!
• Sloshed through Gay Mart!
• Bought our first brand new car, a 2006 Corolla!

These Dreams

I have had some weird dreams lately. Two nights ago, I dreamt we were given our baby. Our baby had a human child’s head but the body of a black bunny. AJWP and I were so happy to have our baby. We loved it so much. And it had very soft fur. In the dream, I was pondering whether we would teach it to walk on all fours like a bunny or on it’s two back feet.

Last night, I dreamt we were negotiating the extra packages to go with our new Toyota Corolla. They were endless and included car repair, roadside assistance, free weekends away, massages, etc. They were endless. The lady just kept reading quickly each package to us and then going to the next. AJWP and I would discuss which we wanted and negotiated all night the terms of the car. Not so restful.

Finally, I took a nap this afternoon and this time Clara, our pup, was test-driving the Corolla with AJWP and I.

What is up with these dreams?

I am an ass

The orange line was slow today so I had to run to the train, messed up ankle and all. It was not pretty. But I made it and was then sitting on the stairs and thought about today. I messed up. I was trying to sympathize with my coworkers about a family who is being particularly difficult. They are unhappy with just about everyone, except they like music therapy and me. It is not unusual to have a family like only one discipline or like one more than the others. I lucked out this time beings that I am not the one this family is unhappy with. I tried to say, “Yes they are being difficult, so difficult that the social worker emailed me to say that I was the only one they liked.” But I came off sounding like I said, “I am so wonderful that the family likes ME.” I sounded like a pompous ass . I am upset with myself. Tomorrow, I will apologize to my coworker (and friend) that I was an ass to. I was going to today but she left early before I could say something. I just wish that, at the age of 39, I could do what my dad used to say: “Put your brain in gear before letting the clutch out on your mouth.”