Father's Day

Father’s Day is rapidly approaching. Lately, I have been thinking of my dad a lot. We have had different house repair issues, car repair issues, and bought a new car. These used to be the times I would call my father for advice. I don’t have that sort of relationship with him any more.

I always liked my dad and craved his attention. I felt an affinity with his quiet ways and independent spirit. I learned about the things he was interested in like jewelry making, hunting, cars, and photography to have time with him, quietly working together.

I wish I could show him our house and the work we have done on it. I want to show him how I fixed the sagging porch. I want to show him the pictures of the radiator hose in our house plumbing. I want to discuss our lawn trouble with him. I want to show him the floor we laid. I want to tell him about the great deal AJWP negotiated on our new car. I want us to stand around the car and look into its engine. I miss my father so much some times.

But he is also the parent who I feel most betrayed by. I always thought of him as an independent thinker, clear headed, and that he loved me. However, at key times in my life, he betrayed me. It stings to know this yet to love him so much.