Midnight Meals

Yesterday’s post brought back a flood of memories of other misadventures with my friend K. He and I and our friend J. were all survivors, gay, and loved to go clubbing. We would hang out at each other’s places, go dancing, and were a constant support to each other as we worked on our molestation/rape issues.

We could always be found at the bar Friday and Saturday. Sometimes Tuesday or Wednesday too. I clubbed a lot through college and for many years beyond. It was great with K. and J. None of us drank much at all so we would go there to dance with each other. After dancing from 10 until 2 AM, we would drive to Dennys or Taco Bell (when we were particularly poor) for dinner/breakfast/midnight snack. There is nothing like eating some pancakes with a gay man and a gender queer man and maybe a drag queen or two. It was a hoot. We also narrowly escaped being beaten one or two times.

There was this one-year when spring break rolled around and found us all broke. No one could go anywhere and we all had to work. So, every night for a week, we would end up usually at my house. J. would bring a tube of Pillsbury cut and cook cookies because he worked at Albertsons. I would fire up the stove and we would play Gin Rummy until 3-4 AM, eating those nasty cookies. Gone are the wild days of my youth.

Another misadventure we had together was when we decided to go march in the Take Back the Night March. We were so excited to go. I think I remember having to convince J. to go but he agreed and the three of us drove down to where the march was starting. However, the march coordinators said men could not march because the women at the march did not want the protection of men. K. in his faggiest voice said, “Honey, the women would be protecting us.” Sadly, the march organizers would not budge on this issue so we left and went to Chi Chi’s for Mexican food and to “Betty it up”* about the march.

I wonder how J. and K. are doing now and where they are. I hope they are doing well and happy. I miss our comradery, shared survivorship, support, clubbing, and late night meals.

* To Betty it up is to talk all catty like about a topic. Betty was used in a variety of manners back then.