I....I.... urm....Uhg,...

So I had a major dyslexia freak out last night in our adoption parenting class. I guess the trainers think we are in third grade because they make us read things out loud for the class. And I got called on to read this page with a ton of text on it. I freaked out and could hardly speak. I stammered a minute then said something to the effect of “I cannot read out loud.” Another woman jumped in and read the page while I tried to not relive K-12 horrors in my mind. The trainers apologized later and I explained that I have dyslexia. She was very nice about it, asking when I was diagnosed and about schooling issues.

I was diagnosed in my second year of college when a GTA in my general psych class pulled me aside and told me I should get tested. In all my years of school and with having a mother who was a teacher, no one ever explored a learning disability as the reason I excelled at math but sucked big time in spelling, grammar, and reading. I was always told I was not trying hard enough and to look up the words I did not know how to spell in the dictionary. First of all, I was trying. Second, I did not know and still do not know that I am spelling a word wrong. Third, how the hell are you supposed to find the word’s spelling if you don’t have the faintest clue of how to spell it. Anyway, I got a letter stating I had dyslexia and that changed my college career. I went from B’s and C’s to A’s. It was beautiful.

I do pretty well now. I still spell words wrong all the time but I am almost ok with it. I don’t usually have to read out loud so that is good. And I have one hell of an editor for my professional manuscripts. I owe her my so much!

So next week, I will try to not freak out for the social workers at the class.